I see red

John Carter. Miles better than Avatar. Mars is a planet where things are very light; its inhabitants must speak without contractions, and the red-skinned males have the same unfortunate hair that bedevilled the Romans and operatives in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. The introduction is slow and a little jerky, and in the darkness of 3D it's difficult to tell whose flying machine is which. But generally, man, it's pulp-scifi great. All the parts you like are there: What Is This Earth Of Which You Speak; stampeding eight-legged armies appearing in dust from a distance; the noble companion (Woola!); the flying machine gate-crashing the big wedding; the shape-shifting grey men... The source material is a compendium of lovely parts. Also: Lynn Collins.